Did you know that most happy couples devote a minimum of six hours per week to their relationship?
Psychologists Julie and John Gottman observed this pattern and named it the Magic Six Hours. The couple founded the Gottman Institute based on decades of research about relationships. This year, I took their in-depth training to become certified as a Gottman Leader for The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
A healthy marriage has a positive impact on so many aspects of each partner’s life, from health to finances to career. I’ve seen it first hand in my work with entrepreneurs and their spouses through our annual Couples Retreat and with chapters and forums in Entrepreneurs’ Organization.
The Magic Six Hours is a remarkable way to ensure you’re taking daily steps towards a stronger marriage.
Are you investing 6 hours a week in your relationship?
If you’re unsure, fear not! The hours don’t need to be consecutive. Here are five ways you can weave them into daily life:
- Partings and Reunions: Be intentional about connecting each time you separate and come back together. Invest a few minutes in a hug, a six-second kiss, and sharing about your day.
- Appreciation: Set aside five minutes daily to express genuine admiration. Specifics make compliments even more meaningful. For instance, “Thank you for the delicious meal tonight. The new chicken dish you made was delicious.”
- Physical Affection: Spend at least five minutes each day sharing physical affection—hugs, hand-holding, and cuddles. These moments build love and connection.
- Weekly Dates: Dedicate an afternoon or evening each week for just the two of you. It needn’t be extravagant – a walk, a porch drink, or a cozy dinner. Take two or three hours to enjoy each other’s company and nurture romance.
- State of the Union Meeting: Reserve an hour each weekend for a relationship check-in. Discuss what’s going well, express appreciation, address conflicts, and ask how you can make each other feel loved in the coming week.
By investing in your relationship consistently, you’re sharing life’s journey and supporting each other. A healthy, loving relationship is worth it for so many reasons, including more intimacy, resilience, and great memories to reflect on at the end of the year.
Will you give the gift of connection this year?
You gift could be establishing new routines at home to reach the Magic Six Hours or planning special experiences like the Couples Retreat.
Consider extending this gift to others, too. Imagine the joy of helping other couples renew their connection. How might you open up a conversation about building a stronger relationship with a married friend or colleague? Are there couples you could support and share ideas about nurturing your relationship?
One of the greatest gifts we can give each other is the time and effort to grow together. Use the Magic Six Hours to create a deeper, more fulfilling partnership and let the ripples of this commitment enhance every area of life.