As the year comes to a close, I have a challenge for you.
If you take me up on it, I believe it will make the time you get to spend with family and friends even more valuable.
Because the way we show up and lead in one area of life impacts all the others.
That’s why I’m passionate about supporting the growth of leaders not only in business, but also in our personal lives with programs like our Couples Retreat in the Rockies.
Which brings us to the challenge:
Write a letter to a loved one.
Strong relationships are built on seeing and appreciating each other. When you take time to articulate the positive impact someone has had in your live, you demonstrate how much they are valued.
Your letter could be for your spouse or a parent/child or a friend. I’ve written quite a few of these myself, and they are so meaningful.
Here’s what’s worked for me:
1. Write by hand.
In a busy, digital world, a handwritten letter is truly special. It’s a moment carved out and tangible. When you’re writing by hand, the pace is a slower than typing or dictating, which gives your mind time to remember and reflect.
2. Start with a memory.
The blank page can be intimidating, so spark your writing by thinking of your first or most vivid memory with the letter recipient.
For example: “Do you remember helping me setup a hot dog stand when I was 5? You were my first customer, eating a hot dog with way too much mustard. Of course, you were also quality control — important for any neighbors considering a purchase. I am so grateful for your presence in my life.”
3. Get specific with your appreciation.
This one applies in letters and in life. Specifics are where the magic happens because you’re recognizing the unique contributions this individual makes in the world.
It’s polite to say “thank you,” but it’s meaningful to say “thank you for knowing how meaningful red shoes are to me and seeking out a pair of red shoes I could wear while teaching.” (That’s a story for another week.)
You could also tell them about a lesson they’ve given you and explain why it’s stayed with you.
4. Allow yourself to be honest and vulnerable.
Relationships can be complicated, and we don’t always get the chance to say what’s in our hearts. Writing a letter is an opportunity to make sure nothing is left unsaid.
I wrote a letter like this to my sister in 2021, sharing about how she has made a difference in my life.
Three days ago, she reached out to me. She recently uncovered that letter, and it made her feel amazing to read it all over again.
5. Turn off your inner critic.
This isn’t about perfect handwriting or grammar, so long as your letter is legible and authentic. Use well-worn cliches if they apply. Sentence fragments. Creative punctuation… sky’s the limit.
Writing a letter has side effects.
Your letter will make one individual’s day brighter.
And you may see some awesome ripple effects as your mind gathers ideas for future letters — diving deeper into conversation, noticing strengths and talents, and being fully present to make more memories.
Will you take me up on the letter-writing challenge?
I’d love to hear from you about how it goes.